Would you like a double-bind with that?

Valenti makes many valuable points in the Pop Culture Gone Wild chapter and, indeed, pop culture HAS gone wild. Pop culture has objectified women as sex objects used for the pleasure of men through gateways like Playboy or Girls Gone Wild; Valenti makes a great point when she says that women will flash their boobs, kiss other girls, or masturbate in front of a camera ultimately to please men’s desires. It is this underlying message that makes me mad because it is ultimately true, and just like the article by Tolman shows, girls put aside and suppress their own sexual desires to please guys or to fit the social norm.

Velenti describes a couple contradictions that women face when dealing with their sexuality, including “be a virgin…but be sexy” and “be available…but unattainable”. These are only two of multiple contradictions that present double-binds for women in society. Women are expected to be virginal and innocent, while also going out of their way to be sexy with what they wear and how they look; this circumstance creates a double-bind because if you are virginal you run the risk of being a boring prude not worthwhile, but if you are sexy then people begin to say you’ve been sleeping around and you become known as a slut. Now, being available…but unattainable shows the same concept of flaunting it, but not giving it up; if you do this you might be seen as a tease, but if you don’t remain unattainable then, once again, you become a whore.

As I read, I came across to realize that I, too, had felt I had to act a certain way to attract boys; now I don’t see it is imperative to follow these contradictions, but I find that high school is the place where you see all of this put to play. I went to a public high school where guys were usually commended for hooking up with several girls, but girls were known as sluts for hooking up with guys. It might all be double-standards put into play, but I remember girl fights caused over slutty trash-talking while the boy fights were usually over gang differences. I remember prom night was the night to have sex and on the following Monday when they boys boasted about who got some, the girls quietly shared with their close friends in sworn secrecy. Overall, these double-binds created by society prevent girls from fully expressing themselves because of fear to the outcomes by peers and society itself.