Cheap Car Insurance and a Lifetime of Hurt

I see marriage as a corrupted institution. Marriage is just an economic device used to perpetuate the institution of private property. My disdain for marriage is not rooted from my parent’s marriage. In fact, I think their marriage is too perfect and for that I have no intentions of ever getting married. I want to be able to love as many people as I want and commit myself to them forever. I don’t need to confine myself to loving one person forever. I sound arrogant and condescending but I honestly don't believe that marriage, in the traditinal sense, has any advantages well, maybe it has some perks like cheaper auto insurance. Nonetheless, paying less for car insurnace will not change my feelings about marriage. Period.

Goldman was well ahead her time when she wrote the essay and she did an excellent job voicing my feelings about marriage too. One particular part of the essay that had resounding effect on me was when she stated that marriage insurance condemns women to “life-long dependency, to parasitism, [and] to complete uselessness.” How profound is this and truthful. For example, a woman entering a marriage may share the same economic strife with her husband; however, in the end, she will end up losing because she would have to fulfill her role as mother and wife and feel useless because her share of the burden will be surpassed by other troubling things in life like babies and satiating her husbands sexual needs. Also I believe that if marriage never existed then young women in India wouldn’t be sold. If marriage never existed gay couples would have many children with no repercussions. If marriage never existed the infanticide of girls in India would seize. If marriage never existed I wouldn't be writing this post.

Aren't we in the 21st Century now?...

Holy crap! These articles were so appalling in so many ways; I’ll start with Emma Goldman. Why is it that people continue to have the mentality that our ultimate goal in life is marriage? That a man has the power of women blah blah blah. I clearly do not understand and she really pissed me off in this article. She compares marriage to an “insurance pact,” now she has got to be kidding me! This article would seriously scare girls and not want to get married. What happened to marriage being about LOVE? Now it’s all about money and power that a man has? She even states “marriage and love have nothing in common; they are as far apart as the poles are…” I feel like all Goldman is doing in her article is complaining about a woman not being able to enjoy sex because that is the most ‘competitive field’. It’s really incredible how women can actually call themselves slaves and not only slaves, but a slave of a man? It’s sad that women are still being identified as a dependent. Inputting this thought into our new generation is going to lead to some serious troubles. Maybe I have this outlook like these people are crazy because I grew up in a house hold where things were equal and my father never expected my mother to stay home and look after the house while he brought home all the money?

“Cheaper than a Cow” that is what women are seriously being compared to in India and it’s completely sickening but reality. Everything about this article was completely shocking to me but the most was the 3.5 MILLION abortions done annually for the cause of preventing having a girl child. These sick men so badly only want boys as their child and continue to abort the children that are not but it seems as if they aren’t realizing that it’s the women who have the dang children!! It's so sad that sex slavery still exists. If they keep doing this they’re not going to have any women left give them a boy. It’s so sad what’s going on over in India and hopefully communities can come together and stop trafficking.

What’s Religion Got to Do with It?

As I read the articles out of Women's Voices, Feminist Visions I began to realize just how split on certain topics parts of our society can be. For as long as I can remember, abortion and gay marriage have been a topic of much discussion; however I had not realized just how lopsidedly unfair the topic had become to both women striving for the rights to abortion, and same sex couples looking for legal union. It’s apparent that prejudice and stupidity are alive and doing well in the United States. I’ve always believed that if it’s one’s body they can do whatever they want to it. I apply the same mentality to gays and lesbians with the old saying, whatever floats their boats. As far as I can see it, there really shouldn’t be a big deal. Then it dawned on me; all of the arguments, discussions and sets of rules that give advantage to opposing parties have been created by those with Christian and Catholic backgrounds. As stated by Goldman, “Marriage is primarily an economic arrangement, an insurance pact,” so what’s religion got to do with it? Even Gomes discusses the idea of religion affecting the scheme of things in the case of same sex marriage. "The truth is that God is an optional party to a marriage in the United States....it is relevant only to those who choose to make it so within their own relationship." Being that both of my parents are Catholic, from birth to adolescence my life was shrouded with religion. Baptism, confession, mass, first communion, confirmation, I have done them all. It wasn’t until late in my teenage years that I began to separate myself from the catholic religion on the basis of human rights. I believe that everyone has a right to do whatever they want as long as it is with concern for themselves, and not harmful to others. It’s no wonder that religion and I just couldn’t click.

Being Grateful!

After reading the articles, I began to realize that there is so much Americans take for granted so much. We are privileged regardless of race and sex, we as Americans are better off than most the world. Goldman complains about the situation of women being stuck in a bad marriage and not being able to experience sex fully, which I do not understand. But regardless women and men in America do not have much to complain about. Everyone reading has most likely eaten several meals today, this already makes you better off than most the world. I realize women have their struggles and are oppressed but let's be grateful we are not in India where you would be sold and treated as a sex slave. We get lost in our day to day lives and forget how blessed we are to live in a country where we have so much more than the rest of the world, and are able to go to a school and get an education, and have access to food, clothing, technology and healthcare (which we get for free). I understand Goldman's point, but I do not think she would have had as much energy toward marriage in America if she would have read the article Kennedy wrote on India and the suffering of the women there. Even Gomes point on the challenges that gays face do not compare to what so many Indian women face everyday. I consider myself very fortunate because I have a variety of clothes to wear, food to eat, a car to drive, a cellphone, a laptop, a house, friends, family, an education, a job and money to buy everything else I need. Be grateful for everything you need!

"You may now kiss the bride"

After having read the article on marriage and love, there are some points in which I agree with her when she says that most women become slaves of men once they get married, and I really liked the point that she brought up about the life insurance. Getting married is a way of assurance for the woman to maintain a stable economic life, but in exchange to be slaves to their husbands in every way. Just because they are married it does not mean that woman cannot be sex slaves to their husbands and be forced to have sex with their partner. Many woman are also slaves when it comes to taking care of the household and the children they raise, and society forces them to be perfect moms to their children and the perfect wife to their husbands or else they are doing their “only” job wrong and therefore do not deserve the respect of their husbands. It is sad but true that most women now a day’s only get married because they see it as a way out of their poverty and they do not mind being dependent on the man unless they are being supported by a man because that is how most women in today’s society have been raised, they are being sucked in into this mentality forced upon them, and that is why most women are still afraid of getting involved in organizations and activists movements because they are too busy doing their “job” of being that perfect woman. I agree that some marriages are united because of love but from personal experience most of the marriages in my family have been ended because things just do not work out, and then where is the love? Where did it go? I think at first all marriages start by love and end because of economical problems or other excuses that men use to say that their woman were not being that perfect wife and did not please them.

Pregnancy Perfection

I always learn something new every time I read a chapter from Full Frontal Feminism. Jessica Valenti seems to put the spotlight on things that we don’t seem to question and just go with. Although I have to admit that this chapter may have made another young girl decide not to have children. Pregnancy is something that always seems to come to mind after thinking about marriage. I had always noticed that after, wanting to get married, most women growing up want a baby as well. However if never crossed my mind to ask why are women always wanting to become wives and mothers because when you think about it a wife is there for her husband and a mother is there for her children. In general I think being a parent would be a thankless job no matter what, but what makes it that we don’t appreciate our mothers any less than our fathers. One reason that comes to my mind is that our mothers do way more for us than our fathers in most cases.
I think that notion of treating your body as if you were pregnant is just crap. It brings to mind the thought that women are only machines that have to last a lifetime. Having to keep your lady parts open for business, not being able to drink (or smoke if it pleases you), and keeping your body in the healthiest form forever. I don’t know about the rest of the population but I know that everyone has a different body type and some are harder to keep healthy than others.
Until reading what Valenti had to say I didn’t give pregnancy a second thought except I know I don’t want to have a child until I am stable in every way. She makes very good points about what is wrong with society when it comes to treating expected mothers. It’s almost like trying to find a balance between virgin and slut, the balance of being a good or bad mother. Once again the world expects women to be perfect and expects them to figure out how. There doesn’t seem to be an end to the long list of expectations women have to follow.

Old School Rules

It has dawned upon me that the institution of marriage is old fashioned and obsolete. Why you ask? Well there are several reasons. Goldman says and i agree with that " marriage is an economic arrangement, an insurance pact." Marriage is a binding pact in which the women is put in a subordinate position to her spouse. As with many marriages the man is breadwinner and the women stays at home to take care of the house, one of the hardest jobs you will find deserving of great recognition, but for the most part ignored and tossed at the wayside as just a part of being a housewife and serving your husband. We have been taught to think of marriage as a sacred institution between a man and a women. Oh no! never a women and a women or a man and a man. However marriage is constantly made a mockery of with so many failed marriages ending in divorce. Also reality TV shows like the Bachelor that mock the so called "sanctity" of marriage. I think marriage is something that is outdated and anachronistic from a time where people got married to unite their families and increase their economic prosperity and continue their lineage. In this day and age I believe that we shouldn't perpetuate the idea of marriage that coerces people to get married if they are in love or that love will foster itself when you get married, and that excludes some people who love each other based on their sexuality. I think that marriage has outlived its purpose in our society with its usage to deny people the right to have children. If we have to have DOMAs to defend marriage I think it is high time that the institution of marriage is abolished, changed or renovated in some way that does not exclude others, prevent people from having children, or pit the wife below her husband.

"Lucy, I'm Home!"

She is known for her red hair and “crazy ideas”. Lucy was such a joy to watch even though the show it is older than I am, it is a legend. I love her small tactics and ways of finding her own desires such as getting money, spending it, then trying to fix the problems by her hilarious schemes. Lucy Ricardo is married to a Cuban singer, Ricky Ricardo, but what I noticed now, is that her character represents the ideal “woman” within the society behind the comedic actions. She is a wife who is Dependent on her husband. In every episode she gets into trouble, but to my attention, she fears her Ricky. What’s funny is that its as if Lucy is the child and Ricky the parent. I guess, that’s what it was since the beginning. Women needed to be taught? Like Lucy, marriage “annihilates her social consciousness, paralyzes her imagination, and she is unable to figure out her character”.

Really? Women are cheaper than a cow in the sex slave industry? I couldn’t believe what I was reading, but then again, what more can our world offer? There is this cycle of problems that are not changed in India. Men are in search of women, but there are not enough women, because the money is usually given to the men and plus sons are the only way to continue the family lineage. I guess, they don’t really understand that women are the ones who are actually giving birth. This system is somewhat similar to the us, in a sense that there is this male dominance. In India, male are so dominant that they run a sex slave, they are desperate for brides and sons. In the U.S. there is still tradition tagged along with the marriage, women are dependent on men in a way. I realized there is no love at all anymore within these two essays. I guess, both are also similar in that, instead of the romance, emotions, there is this goal for the women to be able to get well fed, have a child, and live happily? I guess that is happiness for a woman. Take care of your husband, child, and house. Is marriage supposed to be like this? For some reason, I feel that gay marriage can be happier than the heterosexuals who marry for stability, for money.

There are prostitutes in the U.S. but it is controversial, and yet when we compare that to sex slaves in India, it is a sad thing because the Tradition is so dominant, there is no way to reverse this dilemma. America is so blessed. I am thankful but traditions are still lurking around. I know even still in our country, my Indian friend, finally got married after high school. Let’s just hope this is what she wanted, but there needs to be change, there needs to be a way to scoop the purpose of marriage that is giving the image of women a sign of weakness.

Honorable Marriage

Out of the four readings, The essay written by Emma Goldman about marriage was the most interesting to me because I completely disagree with her. Maybe some women believe that mariiage is all about letting a man control your life and make your money, but I personally would never get married for those reasons. I believe that a lot of women, including myself, want to make their own living and be successful regardless if they get married or not. In her essay, Goldman refers to a woman living in a MANS house, not her own house. Although she does point out some great issues about how marriage possibly gives men control over women and oppresses them into not doing what they really want to do, she refused to look at the good side of marriage. I have been with my boyfriend for two years and recently just got engaged. I love him and I think that marrying him some day would be the greatest honor to myself. I see marriage as a gift and as a way of expressing your love for someone. Also, I see marriage as a partnership of EQUAL duties with the women doing just as much as a man does, not for the woman to stay at home and have a low life job like Goldman describes. In my situation, I am probably going to be the one making the most money for a long time because my boyfriend is not capable due to medical issues, and yet I still would want nothing more than to be his wife someday because I am proud of him. These women that Goldman must be talking about settle for men who treat them bad and are only with them for finanical support which further explains why their marriages are entrapments and forms of oppression in their lives.

NAF-National Abortion Federation...Only in America

If you wanna piss off a group of virgin nuns, simply throw in the word "abortion" in the loop. I believe abortion is a sizzling topic in which most of us (lets be honest) have grown weary to hear. Like most, I had the misfortune of growing up Catholic, (pardon my French). I'm not here to mouth off Catholicism, there are a few Catholics who can be civil. As I grew up in the church, it seemed to me that the Pope could pontificate anything and anyone as if he were God. Yes, if anyone, the Pope was probably closer to the Catholic God than any other filthy body who stepped foot in any Catholic church. Back to my story, when there were elections about abortion, Catholics would have a special "mass" to contribute against passing any denomination relating to abortion. As I grew up and gained more knowledge about life, I left the Catholic church and decided to explore life. Catholicism always seemed so strict and unappealing. I mean the priest has no right to diminish who is going to hell and who is not. I'm not "bagging" on Catholicism here, don't get me wrong, I like to consider myself a Christian. I am against abortion, with one exception, and that is, if a girl was raped. Abortion has been used the wrong ways by inane immature girls and boys, if they want to screw around (literally) and be careless about bringing a child to this earth and conceive, I believe it's only right of them to raise the child. The child did not choose its parents, the parent chose the baby's parents. Abortion has been used as an exit, and it pisses me off to an extent when I hear that girls I know have consented to sex and wound up "prego," then two or three months later I find out they had an abortion, but also have herpes. The government in my opinion is only trying to make people like this, better human beings. The world so surely revolves around sex, and teens and immature couples need to start giving a good f*** when they decide to unknowingly conceive.

Creative Title Depicting Today's Reading

This abortion topic needs to be nipped in the bud. No pun intended. My insensitivity and ignorance towards abortion has only confounded me further after reading Smith’s essay. I like some bloggers here have been raised to follow good Christian values: all life is sacred, treat others the way you want to be treated, and never give less than $5 dollars when the offering basket is circulating. In truth, Smith’s essay only reminded me about our money-wasting prisons. I could spend this entire blog explaining how neo-liberalistic strategies in sustaining penitentiaries deepen the line between the wealthy and poor, but then again I’m a fan of Mister Marx.

Criminalization of abortion is just another tool the white man is pulling out his knapsack. Smith referenced Davis who argued that, “’racisms…congeal and combine’; they exist to maintain the capitalist and white supremacist underpinning of US society.” In just the same way this system singles out people of color as criminals and demonstrates no improvement in reducing crime this effectively rules that criminalizing abortion will paint colored people the same way. However, this is only one issue Smith speaks about. The author’s argument on how pro-choice agendas are as harming as pro-life made me erase my preconceived notion that the fight for reproductive rights was the same battle for ALL women. It’s cruel how even in issues involving the nature of having a baby or not—something ONLY biologically mandated for most women—is another form of oppression for colored women.What control does a brown sister have? Is it not enough that she has to carry a parasite for 9 months?








I really hope I don't get graded down for not writing a more interesting title...

CHOICE?

After reading “If these Uterine Walls Could Talk” by Valenti, I was shocked to learn how many restrictions are being put on birth control and unwanted pregnancies. I have always believed that it is the women’s choice on whether they want to have an abortion or not. No one should be making that decision for them. Abortions are not being done for the simple reason of not wanting the child but for other reasons as well. For example, if that child is going to be brought into this world to live a miserable life and be hungry most of the time then there is no point in having that child. Women should not be declined for an abortion.
More than anything, if much of a society is against abortion than they should not be against birth control. This is the way that women will be preventing the issue of abortion. There are cases like the example given in the book about a girl being raped and not being able to get the EC. This just outraged me, why would we want a woman young or older to have a painful memory of that event? Those women should be able to get the EC pill without questions.
Now about having it out in the open for everyone will I guess reduce the many teen pregnancies that there are. I know that it might have made a big difference back when I was in junior high. I remember when we would go to lunch. When we were eating, and towards the last ten minutes of lunch we would see this long line of pregnant teenagers getting their lunch. There were about ten to fifteen of them. If those girls would have had access to those birth control pills I can imagine the numbers would have been less. That is why it is better to be educated earlier than a bit too late.

Our "Birth" Rights

Pregnancy prevention and abortion has been one of the top topics of discussion for the past 40 years; however, I feel that I am just now, after reading the chapter from FFF and the article by Smith, understanding what it is all really about. I’ve always been aware of the several different versions of birth control that are available to women, but I have always been under the impression that they had just as easy a time getting these things as I do getting condoms. The fact that birth control is available but is being held from the hands of those that needed is ridiculous. As presented in FFF some pharmacists have the right to simply refuse to fill prescriptions of birth control for unmarried women based on personal moral and ethic views. It is unfair to all women that they cannot acquire the means of birth control when men can so easily do so. I believe that this can in a way be connected to male privilege. The reason that Valenti gives us in FFF is that some people really just hate the fact that women have sex; it becomes all about slut-punishment while men get no blame for anything.

As my Uncle once said, it takes two tango; well it sure as hell takes a both a man and a women to make a baby, so why should women be surrounded by tons of negativity for it? Say a young girl gets pregnant due to lack of protection; it becomes increasingly difficult to find a way to stop from having the baby. Especially when considering the hoards of lies that Anti-choice supporters create to trick young girls into having their child instead of having an abortion. After reading the article by Smith I have come to the conclusion that the right to a government funded abortion is one that every woman should have. It would prevent the marginalization of the poor who cannot afford an abortion themselves, as well as prevent further humiliation of our prison systems by decriminalizing the act (where it has chance of becoming criminalized). Furthermore, if our society could agree on the topic of abortions, it would almost certainly also solve the current problems on birth control as presented by Valenti.

I Believe That Life Is A Prize

Abortion has got to be the most controversial topic now a days to talk about. Different people have extremely different opinions on this issue. The readings were all focused on the government involvement in abortion and contraception rights. However, in my eyes, I believe that religion has A LOT to do with being anti-choice or pro-choice. Being raised as a Catholic, I learned very young that abortion was bad and that is was killing a human being. Never once was I told that I had a choice and was not going to be punished for it. This did scare me into not having sex for a while. Looking back on it, being that I am no longer a religious person, I think that they used abortion, and its consequences of “going to hell” as a scare tactic, like ones talked about in the readings, into not having sex and not being a slut. Eventually as I got older I began to see it in a different light, and see it more like Valenti does. A woman should be able to do what she wants with her own body and never be forced into being a parent, especially when it comes to rape. Yes, I do believe that life is a prize, and that it is a beautiful thing, but at the right time and in the right situation. Also, I am pro-choice, but I would say to a certain extent. In my opinion, once you can actually see the baby in its full form; head, eyes, toes, ect, it is not okay to abort the baby. It is a baby! However, in the early stages of an egg with no heart or organs yet, I do not think that is a crime. I think a lot of people see abortion in these terms and not so much the extremes of pro-abortion or anti-abortion. Certain moral standards come into play that determine every persons different views on abortion.

Birthing Control

I titled this blog "Birthing Control" because I feel that women are losing the ability to control and chose their life decisions, especially when it comes to abortion. I'm pro-choice because I feel it is not anyone's place to judge someone else and to decide what is best for someone else. I feel it is their life and people should mind their own business. Having said that, I do value life and this has always been a struggle for me and I'm sure for many people as well. A women's choice should be her own and not government's. I think it's awful that women are put into awkward and horrible situations, such as being refused birth control at the pharmacy, because the government has a difference of opinion. Government is not the one who has to bring a child into the world. I've had this debate with many people, including my friends at my synagogue. Some of us are more religious than others and we have had heated discussions about this topic. My friend "Sally" for example is completely pro-life because she feels that life is the most important above all else. I've given her examples of women who have been abused and how they were to bring an unwanted and unplanned child into the world. The choice should be hers and hers only.
Another problem was the refusal of pharmacists to give women birth control based on their own religious beliefs. I feel it is unprofessional and inappropriate to ask a stranger what she would be using birth control for and if she was married or not. It is humiliatating for the woman but even violates our right to privacy which is granted to us in the Amendments. So not only is it unethical but unconstitutional as well.
Government needs to stay out of the private business of women and give us more control. It's our body. Our life. We should have the right to gain control over it.

..and the oppression continues...

Abortion has been a very “touchy” subject for many years amongst society. There has not been a set solution to this problem because there are so many different point of views, benefits and disadvantages that follow the choice. I consider myself a pro-life, but like the responses in the essay by Andrea Smith from the Native Women I am also pro-choice. I have always said I would never get an abortion due to the moral standards that I have been raised in within my family, but in a situation of rape and being in that person’s shoes, there can be a 360 degree turn in this situation. I think the day something like that happens to me (which I pray it never will) that will be the day that I will know exactly which side of the equation I support. After reading the essay I realized that either way depending on what side you are in, in the end it all oppresses women in every way still. It seems like society is trying to attack women in every play of the game and they find every opportunity to restrict women especially women of color and those living in poverty from certain rights and the freedom of choice. What I found interesting and I did not realize until I read this article is the fact that after the civil war the percentages of women of color and people of color in general increased after the abolition of slavery, but like it said in the essay-except for prisoners (smith pg 4). For example, in pro-life, abortions was illegal, we know that most of the women incarcerated would be of color and those who can not afford to raise a child, and in pro-choice, even if women had the right to choose over their bodies, many women still would not be able to afford abortions, hence, expensive contraceptives. Women should always consider their beliefs and values, in order to protest and act upon choosing a side, or come up with a solution that connects both these concepts.

Building a Nest

I honestly do not like abortion, just the whole issue on what is right and what is wrong. Smith’s essay showed both sides and I loved the way it was ended on how both pro-life and pro-choice in some way connect. They, in some way, are supporting women of color. She quotes “We must reject single-issue, pro-choice politics of the mainstream reproductive rights movement as an agenda that not only does not serve women of color, but actually promotes the structures of oppression which keep women of color from having real choice or healthy lives.” I am assuming it all leads to women and our oppression once again. For me, I am both. I can’t choose. Maybe I am neither.

Because pro-life is also valuable with the fact that, YES, “the fetus is a life”. I, one hundred percent agree with that. It disturbs me to think that so many women struggle with this situation, because, I get it, it is based on their background. What about the poor, the disable? Well, what about the baby? What about the life that is living in the woman’s body? “Life begins in the hospital room, no in the womb”, this quote made me think of how different every women perceives of infants. The fetus is a human being. Women want to be sexually free, but we must also consider how our body works. We have to understand what is so different from the male. We are both equally human but with different functions biologically. But then again there is the pro-choice side of this argument. I wanted to say that the connection with the prison can also be of a metaphorical aspect too. But for pregnant women who are trapped, they are unable to free themselves, and by that if abortion is legal, they will keep doing it, over and over again. She is to make a plan, a choice to feed her child, like a bird having to take her time building a nest, with every twig she finds, flapping for food to feed her birds, and I find this interesting, they usually don’t have a partner help take care of their babies, actually most of the animals don’t. It’s tough. But humans are so different. Teenagers get pregnant. Why? Maybe we should watch our kids, maybe we should educate? That’s all I can say. There is so much going on because society is once again, interlocking with systems of oppression. It somehow leads to this. Women are trapped, they don’t know what to do with every decision that they make. What is causing this? Should they suffer the consequences? Is having a baby suffering? Will it be good for their future, will they be successful as an individual (apart of men’s dominance), can she trust her surroundings, her body, herself? It’s fear. There is fear in both decisions. It is Fear that is keeping us from flapping to making they best plan.

Walk for Life

When I was fourteen I took catechism classes at my Catholic church in order to prepare for my sacrament of Confirmation. Part of the preparation was learning about the religion as well as volunteering hours within the church. During catechism classes the teachers would offer volunteer opportunities for students. One that was regularly offered was a “Walk for Life” that started on the main boulevard of the city and ended in front of Planned Parenthood with protest signs. As a young girl without any sexual experience or knowledge, I didn’t quite understand why this was even happening. I remember a fellow student explaining to me that they were protesting abortion. I knew what abortion was. “Ok,” I thought. “That seems noble enough.” However, I didn’t take part in these walks because I had other volunteer opportunities that were easier than going to publicly protest someone’s rights.

Only three years later I went to this Planned Parenthood to receive birth control and free medical screenings. Two years after that I supported a friend on her first trip there. Upon arrival she asked me why the building was locked up and why patients had to be buzzed in. I told her that people often protest out in front of the building and harass patients or workers. She simply laughed at the irony as she said, “I used to do that with my church.”

It seems wrong to me to gather a group of young naïve teenagers and use them as an army to protest something they have not yet understood or made their own opinion on. Many of those protestors ended up pregnant from lack of sexual knowledge or later went to Planned Parenthood to get assistance. I can think of several girls who were raised Catholic as I was but found their own views on sex, contraception and abortion. As shown in Jessica Valenti’s If These Uterine Walls Could Talk chapter, conservative groups often use manipulation to keep teenage and adult women from the control of their body. In the case of the churches in my area, teen girls were asked to participate in a protest of something that was not explained or explored.

Abortion Contraversies

Abortion has been around for many years but during the past few years, the Pandora box has opened. The pro-life activist groups have fought outside of abortion clinics to stop abortion but it has not worked as it seems. It has created the confusing controversy of what side of the pendulum you are on: Pro-life or Anti-life. At the end, we all fall under the both sides. If we believe that pro life is the way to go then we end up thinking about the pro choice aspect at one point of our lives. Yes, we can be pro-life but we fall into the pro-choice of determining the end a pregnancy if the case is rape or incest, it changes our mindset on our beliefs. If the women is raped or incest has occurred, the doctors usually recommend to end the pregnancy but it is also the moral choice of the women to do it so it set the women in the middle of the balance: should I do it or should I just live with the choice of keeping me child?. Therefore, the doctors give them a few days to think about it. The morals society sets upon women and pregnancy are everywhere. For example, when you’re driving the freeway, there’s a sign for pro life verses the abortion choice. This type of messages the media portrays out public reinforces the norms we must follow if we are women. It makes the women who have had abortions feel guilty, undeserving of another child, and makes them feel as evil human being who has murdered. On this point, I view abortion as a choice of what we believe in morally and in what situation we are in terms of pregnancy. As women we oppress ourselves by judging other women in their choice of why they aborted their child. Since the Pandora box has opened up publically, abortion has created controversial messages of how the health system is not effective in the choice of birth control access and pregnancy itself is faced.

Why does it matter?

Society is the most cunning form of oppression. Societies as a whole have served to define its members in one way or another throughout time. In past societies what we call homosexual relations were normal and expected, not scrutinized. It seems a bit ridiculous given our past that we now have the need to label everything and make it fit into some square when it's a triangle. Where does this need to define something or someone come from? I used to define myself entirely through society's standards, but eventually I came to the conclusion that who are they to tell me who I am and what I should do. Do I still conform to their laws and ways of life? Unfortunately yes, but only because I am not ready to spend my life in prison, but as far as my thinking goes I am on the opposite end of the spectrum. Rather than taking what they give me with a silver spoon I inspect what is said looking for the poison. By doing this I have been able to consider all peoples and their ways of life with a more open mind. I no longer think of them as wrong or in opposition to our society, but as just themselves. In terms of homosexuality as we call it I have found that throughout history it is something natural and that they didn’t feel the need to define them as homosexuals, but just as sexual beings. Why is that no longer the case? Why can’t we just be sexual?

Get out of the closet

The moment I saw this image i thought I have to post this and see what my classmates think of this.Religion plays an important role in heterosexuality. Especially the catholic and christian church.I was invited of by a friend of mine to his christian church (by the way I am not christian) and after the service I had a little talk to the pastor and the homosexual topic came up. WEIRD!!! Well hi point of view is that there is something wrong with men in particular who are gay. He says that if they go to church they will find the "right" way and that all the need is a little guidance. At that moment all I could think of is the audience HE preaches to and how they are impacted.

I'm Afraid Of PIKACHU'S!

The justification as to why lesbians chose to become lesbians will never come to a single conclusion. Adrienne Rich lists some of the reasons as to why we have lesbianism but they are a bit confusing. She tells us to not narrow it down to females wanting the experience of being with another female sexually. She mentions that we should expand our thinking to the sharing of a rich inner life, the bonding against male tyranny, and to receiving and giving of practical and political support. Perhaps bad experiences with men can lead a woman to turn to another woman for companionship. She mentions the case of a novel where the woman is a victim in a violent relationship with a man and she does not know why she stays in the relationship. This could be the case to many lesbians, but we can't just blame men for this. She also mentions the sharing of a rich inner life. I don't see how this could be a reason for lesbianism because this is what we look for in every relationship, heterosexual or homosexual.
I think that trying to understand or justify as to why a person is homosexual is not explainable. There is no biological or psychological explanation. What if we put to the side the fact that we even have sexes (male & female) and think to ourselves " If we were all the same and could chose a partner who we would like to be with, we wouldn't have to worry about the sex of that person because we wouldn't have a sex" . We would chose a person based on their attributes, qualities, values, morals, and personalities and this way we won't even have homosexual oppression. This would mean no gender roles or sexisms existence as well. But the harsh truth is that we live in a society where we try to find an explanation to EVRYTHING! We find ourselves asking a "why" to anything that happens. I have a co-worker who is homosexual and was asked by his professor, "why do you chose men, instead of women?" and his response to this was, " I hate pikachu's!" (refering to the women's genitals). His professor responded with another question, "But why do you hate them if you came out of one?", and my co-worker enraged by the fact that the professor couldn't simply understand it responds with, " I didn't come out of one, my mother had a C-section so god didn't want me anywhere near pikachu's since the beginning!". He did this of course to mix religion into the conversation and I thought he just wanted to fail the class.

Surviving

Adrienne Rich’s article explored the idea that women of lesbian existence had to enter heterosexual marriages in order to survive. Marrying men often times guaranteed economic stability and social respectability in times where a woman could not survive on her own. This is an interesting and unfortunate concept. It shows the general status of women in society: they are unable to provide for themselves economically. It also shows the social status of lesbian existence: one would rather choose a life they do not belong to in order to maintain a sort of “normalcy.” The beautiful thing about this choice is that women of lesbian existence did not forfeit their feelings or sensuality to the institution of marriage but rather their lesbian existence was merely tamed by it. They maintained emotional and passionate relationships with women during their marriages. This enabled them to have children who would grow up economically and socially safe but still allowed for them to find love. Rich offers the idea that there are no statistics on how many women of lesbian existence actually stayed in these marriages and how many eventually left.

This adaptation by women of lesbian existence to society’s norms is considered to be a crime towards women. Forced heterosexuality onto women was named a crime in 1976. The need for men to maintain their dominance through the use of an institution such as marriage is appalling. Women are taught that marriage is a duty of their gender, and it became a way for many to survive, whether in happy situations or not.